I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
apparently the secret to your success is patron
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
