there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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