remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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