The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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