your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
