is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
