Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
kristin has been a bad kristin
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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