wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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