you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
