guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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