Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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