Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
