she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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