My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
