i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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