True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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