Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
the day after is always just damage control
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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