You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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