it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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