A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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