Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
