Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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