he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
false alarm, still single
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
