im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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