I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
