Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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