someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
