this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
