and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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