Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
