I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
her vagine was all disorganized.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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