You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
