I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
