do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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