You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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