Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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