He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize