Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
