Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
