even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
