theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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