Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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