were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
