How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
