4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Operation Purity has been aborted
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
