batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I have fence marks all over my body
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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