She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
