Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
