This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
