Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
