my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
